Vanessa

2017 Preface: I had memories of Vanessa, a former para of my high school program. I wrote this as I had developed a special friendship with a staff at my now former day program. She was my sister figure. My only sister figure – ever! Or at least I thought. When I left in November, she has not remained in communication. Vanessa I have not seen in years.

This post is about a paraprofessional from over 11 years ago. Her name is Vanessa and she worked with me over a decade ago. She was an awesome woman. A few years older than I am, kinda of a sisterly figure, a cute looking lady whom I would refer to her as my best friend if only things went a different way. Professionally she was cool, calming, would deescalate my anxiety and was able to have this peer-but-authorative figure only because I knew my boundaries (or at least that’s what I felt back then.)

Well we parted ways as she left GLEC about a year or so after I left my first program there. We had great chemistry and we both got along better than I did with the aforementioned teacher that I previously wrote.

For a while after I was very devastated, it was like loosing a best friend. It was a breakup only because the way GLEC operated wasn’t like other places upon transfers of good professional relations, they follow them. Vanessa was unable to follow me.

As stranger things had happened, it was a couple years ago where my mother and I took me to Manchester to the Mall of New Hampshire to acquire my Mac mini. As we left Best Buy to go and have lunch, we went by one of those photo places. Vanessa working there! But after lunch, we walked by to not see her again. She was working with a customer (a family you know) when we first went by. The following months, I’d try to do walk by. Her name tag and face matched, and she I believed lived in Lawrence.

I’ve known that some paras ether go out of the field altogether and go a 180 in the career sense. That may have happened to Vanessa a couple years ago. If Vanessa was able to follow me to the school to work program, maybe the 21st birthday debacle would’ve been less painful.

There is an individual that kinda meets the above profile in my current day program. I need someone like a Vanessa and I’ve been longing to find a day partner in crime with a multi-year relationship for decades. I hope ether that individual or someone else can fill this void.

It would be an underestimate to say I need someone like her in my day to day life.

🙁

Autism in Love: Review, part two

This Post is All About Lenny and dedicated to him. His struggles deserves its own post. Warning, this may be a tear dripper.

The only single guy featured in this film was on the left coast. Lenny was introduced and closed out the film.  Throughout the documentary, what was very striking was how he appears to be overcompensating and trying so hard to be normal.

The first abnormal sign was he wanted to dress up on camera to decide otherwise. (Was he in a work or school program that demanded him to look fancy?) To be honest, I’d rather see him more of Lenny than someone of who he should be. Second he was very determined  for being the dominant person, that no female should be stronger or better than him. (Well if he had old fashioned people as his “supports”. Third was how should be in college, making a lot of money so he could take care of his lady. He even is in tuned to the trashy Caucasian ladies by stating to the cameraman at one point that African American ladies are “more independent” and was explaining “interracial relationships”. (You can add every non American woman into the mix as I’ve already discussed before.)

For people new to this site, this documentary aired on PBS in early January, following a 3 plus year project. You can see it here till April or go to iTunes, Google Play, etc and search for “Autism in Love”

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Autism In Love: Review

A documentary recently ran on PBS earlier this month of an independent documentary entitled Autism In Love. (Running on a host program called Independent Lens.) This project was in the works for at least a few years at least following on social media. After being let down of all the teases, I never followed up, till a recent post on a disability blog came to my attention.

After missing the original airing, I saw it Wednesday on my iPad by accessing it through PBS’ web site. (available through PBS till April 2016)

I have watched this three times since then to try to soak all the emotional, and very touching storylines.

Spoiler alert if you continue to read on.

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Say That You Love Me (A Narrative on Crushes)

Humm, I guess the 90’s are kicking in for me thinking of that hit entitled Lovefool.

Anyways, I’ve had a massive case of infatuations from as far back as I was about 11. I’ve learned over the years that crushes aren’t just normal or natural but it can be downright painful and just plain bad.

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The Back Story to the Marriage to the Girl in Ballerina Flats

In 2013, I came to my senses that I’d also be a hopeless romantic. Love and autism doesn’t have to be a complicated relationship status, and sadly the recurring characters such as incompetent psychologists acting as state leaders, inadequate training (fear mongering), and possibly “following the money trail” say IDEA for an example, had a lot to do during my teenage years.

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