Lack of Social Networking = No Growth Potential

From the other site

I’m writing this after a recent encounter on the ride home from the turnpike where I saw some toll taker that is about my age or even younger, cute and attractive. Many people are much older than I am. I’ve seen her before and she’s I believe married.

Living in a suburban area that is borderline rural and not rural just north of a big city is not easy. I’ve grown up in a large suburban town, where for most of my life, I didn’t grow up there, because I spent more time down in Massachusetts. I’ve repeated this story a number of times, for the people that know me well, middle school hell and high school insanity that impacts almost all adolescents.

Obviously I lost contact with almost every one of them. A vast majority of the kids I went to school are living in large urban cities, much further away from where they grew up, even one I know lives down under. I also do not think these kids are ever coming back to where they call home (as many aren’t also even married or having children and they have or are hitting three-zero themselves.) New Hampshire is the state for the hard tight republican types. New Hampshire was nice growing up, but a pain to live as an adult. It’s nice to visit as an adult but it’s much better to live an a “tolerant” urban locale.

This snobbery and arrogance is what isn’t helping my group. We don’t have a choice to pick our bags and travel to any state, especially in some locations institutions still exist, and the same group of people have limited tolerance for people with autistic or other developmental disorders. I’ve been pushed to the bone to find “peers” and be with my “peers” I always thought that those “peers” were normal “people of my own age”. And apparently because I am still longing for this over a decade later, I guess I am doing something wrong.

Now how do I grow my social circle? Go out and make yourself known. Ok, so how can that next step of trying to get people to be in contact? Business cards are just as bad as an attempt to befriend people on Facebook. I’ve been denied by a number of people who I had frequent contact, it’s not like I met a Barista and asked to befriend her on Facebook the day after.

The social world is not what is taught in special education. It’s really a Banana Republic, and quite often, the fast-paced changing world of clueless teenagers as thirty year olds known as the Millenial generation does not help matters.

I’d rather have friends who are objects at this point. Because I am tired of being treated like a dog by my “peers”. I can’t tell you one person outside of my immediate circle that was born after 1980 that has much respect to have a meaningful acquaintance, friendship, and the ability to grow social connections and business opportunities.  And because of this, I’ve been “stuck”, and it has exasperated my ability to grow. 

What I have come to except is that the ability to grow my socialization to the masses will be a lost cause, which in 2016 was the year of accepting that harsh reality.


What is being Hopeless All About?

2017 Preface: I scrapped most of the original writing to insert what “hopeless” really meant. When I branded this site, I couldn’t even imagine the bullet points would be so true! Being in the previous toxic environment was the catalyst to this site and my feelings that had the majority control at the time.

The definition of “hopeless” means the following:

feeling or causing despair about something

The definition of despair means:

showing the loss of all hope

In the Thesaurus sense, despair means for adjectives :

gloomy, depressed, discouraged, demoralized, deviated, suicidal [don’t blame me], pessimistic 

In the context of the Hopeless Autisticit means that the bulleted points are not hope and:

  • They won’t be able to find an ideal, and reasonable day program
  • They won’t be able to find an ideal support staff
  • That they will not be able to have a reasonable and healthy social life
  • And won’t be able to find love

How the Hopeless Autistic Began

To sum it up in a paragraph: I had gotten a name of a genetic doctor at Dartmouth/Hitchcock Manchester. From winter to June there was back and forth in backoffice paperwork. After that cat and mouse game ended, we got a date to meet with the doctor on September 1st. Basically the genetics testing was too risky financially as my primary insurance through my mother denies at 13 years and older. The Managed Care Medicaid wouldn’t touch it unless it was denied by the primary insurance provider, and if Medicaid denied it it would’ve been a severe case of SOL. (The story of my life…everything is bleep out of luck!)

Well in the meantime, the doctor suggested a name of Dr. Jennifer McLaren in Lebanon. According to that doctor, she supposedly worked with adults. (I suspect she may work with them if they aged out as children like a grandfathered clause.) Well when I called them, they basically denied me and gave me the infamous advocacy organization, etc.

It was after this run-in with the broken adult special needs system is when I decided of I Can’t Take This Anymore! And this is how The Hopeless Autistic began. Thank you unforgiving “doctors”!

“Ableism”, Trouble Making, and you people have a life?

2017 Update:  I was on other parts of social media at this time too. There are many people who have higher functioning autism that you can’t tell them and a special-snowflake or a Social Justice Warrior apart. Prior to 2016, ether SJW or special snowflakes were not in the lexicon. 

The common problem with any advocate (including the anti-vaxxers is the ability to run away from their problems from time to time. Being razor sharp on such issues all the time is perhaps the very same reason why there is frivolous cases of “ableism” here and there. 

The problem is so many, they do not have a life. Life other than throwing rocks at opposing’s windows. 

Before I start, I should disclose, that I do feel that I myself, and perhaps others have become a victim of being discriminated by “ableism.” These Asperger’s types have gone so far to make “ableism” to be put on steroids. While there is discrimination, and abuse, there are more healthy ways instead of using University type of language in the tone of anger. I’ll even say for myself, it may not make me go anywhere…which is why I try to redirect the energy to reform. Oh I’m not sure if “reform” is an OK word.

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Dartmouth Hitchcock Refers Me to a Odd Organization?

2017 Update: Someone told me last year that this very same doctor now works with adults. No followups.

Last week, (this was the last straw to develop this blog actually) I contacted the Lebanon office of Dartmouth Hitchcock to try to get a consult with a MD which supposedly is experienced on ASD.

Well I was told she only deals with children.

Is this a bleeping joke?

One of the offices they told me to contact was the AANE, once known as the Asperger‘s Association of New England (why they dropped the apostphre-s is beyond me. It is now called the Autism Asperger‘s Network.) They are located in the most snottiest area of the state in Watertown, Massachusetts, the most far left out of touch democrats, and the most wealthiest areas of Central New England!

Is this what the low ranking intake clerk meant on the phone?

They aren’t a medical facility, they don’t have doctors, they are nothing but a far left organization (i.e. a special interest group) ran by a bunch of far, way out of left field lefties, out of common touch people who probably themselves have AS.

And guess what? They had a conference, and several hours worth of video of a “Disclosure conference” earlier this year at Bentlllleeeeyyy College in the central part of Middlesex County, MA.

If you have ever visited the common people/working class area of Essex County, you’ll know why I hate, HATE, over my dead body that part of the state.

Is this flipping joke?

Dare I say the cliche Only in Massachusetts? Only in the Commonwealth do they peeve resources on “disclosing” autistic disorders as a training material

*shaking my head *

The Lack of Direct Support Professionals

2017 Update: I still have not found a dedicated DSP outside of my program.

For adults with autism spectrum disorders, at least in my backyard; finding good help is one thing; finding help at all is even worse.

Direct support professionals (also known as DSPs, caretakers, caregivers, respite workers, etc.) is supposed to be a growing trend by 2020. The difference between DSPs and the traditional sense, is there is more standards, competencies and even ethics. While it’s good in the abstract, I find it flawed as the c-suite will continue to possibly hire incompetent managers and continue to operate unethically.

For my case, a simple DSP to take me out for fun to get away from the horrible realities of living with autism in a region regressing in service delivery, oppressive special needs systems, etc, took nearly 6 months from concept to a possible new hire. I went through every professional acquaintances  and – nothing! Even my remaining Massachusetts connections – and no luck!

Is it a case of if its too good to be true then it must be?  or is it “I don’t want to work with an autistic, because they are slow childlike boys- I can’t stand those people.”

You know who I accuse this of? Bad leadership in New Hampshire. Bad training standards (because they are taught to find “flaws” with the individuals, glorify the negativity and dilute any positive abilities of the students or clients.)

What’s worse is the training is hard to come by here in this state with the various conferences relevant to special needs. I blame the Granite State being so desperate, they’ll take out of staters who clearly want to oppress the severely autistics and train future professionals the negativity as the headline and any positives as a footnote.

I’m in my late twenties, and I haven’t been active in any advocacy or became an agent of some change till recent years. But from what I’ve gathered from the outside was that the state’s better years could’ve been the days when the Great Stone Face was still up in Franconia Notch – nearly 12 years to the day. But around 2003, remember, many of them just became of age, or would become of age. So in the days of progress, there were few people on the autism spectrum as adults, as so many were children, and in those days many were suffocating of big heavy smoke of destructive political actions of the leadership of the time.

I feel like its worse living in New Hampshire and with autism than years past! Why are we settling to such a low level? I call this Unanswered questions.