How the Hopeless Autistic Began

To sum it up in a paragraph: I had gotten a name of a genetic doctor at Dartmouth/Hitchcock Manchester. From winter to June there was back and forth in backoffice paperwork. After that cat and mouse game ended, we got a date to meet with the doctor on September 1st. Basically the genetics testing was too risky financially as my primary insurance through my mother denies at 13 years and older. The Managed Care Medicaid wouldn’t touch it unless it was denied by the primary insurance provider, and if Medicaid denied it it would’ve been a severe case of SOL. (The story of my life…everything is bleep out of luck!)

Well in the meantime, the doctor suggested a name of Dr. Jennifer McLaren in Lebanon. According to that doctor, she supposedly worked with adults. (I suspect she may work with them if they aged out as children like a grandfathered clause.) Well when I called them, they basically denied me and gave me the infamous advocacy organization, etc.

It was after this run-in with the broken adult special needs system is when I decided of I Can’t Take This Anymore! And this is how The Hopeless Autistic began. Thank you unforgiving “doctors”!

Say That You Love Me (A Narrative on Crushes)

Humm, I guess the 90’s are kicking in for me thinking of that hit entitled Lovefool.

Anyways, I’ve had a massive case of infatuations from as far back as I was about 11. I’ve learned over the years that crushes aren’t just normal or natural but it can be downright painful and just plain bad.

Continue reading

The Concerns of living in a “Fantasy” World

Concerns first spread to some that I was “stuck” living in a fantasy world (which at the time consumed Lego minifigures and ABS plastic bricks) when I was about 13. The school support staff felt I was getting to carried away; and as a result I was basically punished for living in my own safe world by being force to adapt to the real world. (The staff were Gen Xers, to remind the reader. This was the last “tough” generation, however “tough” could be considered as passive aggressive not just strong.)

Continue reading

Autism Isn’t Hopeless (HA!)

2017 Update: The cases of autism rose at the same time everyone was getting online, which was why I was trying on another project to find Y-O-Y numbers of IP connected devices around that same time.


In a process of researching the rise of autism and the rise of the Information age, I’ve been trying to ascertain specific numbers in each year since about CY 1990 to present. However such statistics such as public IP addresses and year-over-year numbers of autism isn’t the most easiest task with a single search engine with a few minutes.

One of the research I did was searched “autism statistics over the last 25 years”. While this website didn’t go much places for me (since afterall it is the National Autism Association lead by hippies who believe those goddamn vaccinations caused their kids autism) the last bullet point blew me away on the “Facts & Stats” section.

  • Autism is treatable, not a hopeless condition

Excuse me while I laugh out loud. Try talking to an almost 29 year old who basically lost his twenties and will never get it back thanks to multiple parties who clearly knew everything about autism treatment to moderate functioning groups to then have unintended consequences as adults. It’s so freckin’ pitiful that people to this day think there’s “hope”.

Our country is falling apart, our SL&Gs are broke, some school districts and area agencies  have no interests in a partnership to help these “children” succeed as adults. Whose looking out for your kid – wether s/he is a kid or an adult? Whose looking out for me? Whose looking out for the autistic population in America, it can’t be the Presidant? Am I going to fall victim of loosing funding, or having a worse quality of life? Whose going to reverse the “Managed Care” scam in my state, other than established Democrats? 

What’s so saddening to see is in a decade, there still has yet been real tangible result for the younger generation.  If you have visited this site already, you know my situation.

I’m already hungover from 2015 leading into 2016. Early indications are showing a rough start in my personal life. I already predict Hillary to win the Presidency by buying votes as of this writing on December 21st. There is so much going on in this world, never would I let it scare me, but it seems to be the last two presidential elections, things scare me to death. Even if Trump gets the office, he will demonize autism since he has been buddies with his former boss at the network at 30 Rock and Autism Speaks, and if you thought Presidant Obama was looking out for autistics, then you’re so naive.. And 2016 is no different no less, and whoever gets the Oval Office, I think any autistic will have a hopeless future.

*

The Back Story to the Marriage to the Girl in Ballerina Flats

In 2013, I came to my senses that I’d also be a hopeless romantic. Love and autism doesn’t have to be a complicated relationship status, and sadly the recurring characters such as incompetent psychologists acting as state leaders, inadequate training (fear mongering), and possibly “following the money trail” say IDEA for an example, had a lot to do during my teenage years.

Continue reading

Where’s Peace?

It would be an understatement that the “world’s on fire.” And not to far away in our back yard. There seems to be too much domestic violence in mass attacks, and it’s a little unnerving that our President cannot do his job and punish the animals who destroy other family’s lives. (Oh I forgot, people voted for the President so he could give autistic people more rights…oh well why have I been stuck since he’s been president?)

Closer to home, it seems that my day program is sputtering too. Sudden changes to schedules near the Christmas time period and yet it seems that staff and clients are in a mess. Yet, I am supposed to also meet Concord’s narrative of “everything is awesome”; there is nothing wrong with “the system”, all of our micro-managing of pushing “community based supports” is working perfectly as planned. Maybe for Bartlett, maybe not so much for say Hudson.

I don’t understand this. There is so  many autistics plus other developmentally disabled people in this state – and yet “the adults in the room” seem to act like children and pretend nothing is wrong until they see the unintended consequences (opps, was that a “microagression theory”) come into fruition in a tragic way.

To say there is not an autism crisis to borderline autistics, and adults would be an understatement, as I stated numerous of times since October.

“Ableism”, Trouble Making, and you people have a life?

2017 Update:  I was on other parts of social media at this time too. There are many people who have higher functioning autism that you can’t tell them and a special-snowflake or a Social Justice Warrior apart. Prior to 2016, ether SJW or special snowflakes were not in the lexicon. 

The common problem with any advocate (including the anti-vaxxers is the ability to run away from their problems from time to time. Being razor sharp on such issues all the time is perhaps the very same reason why there is frivolous cases of “ableism” here and there. 

The problem is so many, they do not have a life. Life other than throwing rocks at opposing’s windows. 


Before I start, I should disclose, that I do feel that I myself, and perhaps others have become a victim of being discriminated by “ableism.” These Asperger’s types have gone so far to make “ableism” to be put on steroids. While there is discrimination, and abuse, there are more healthy ways instead of using University type of language in the tone of anger. I’ll even say for myself, it may not make me go anywhere…which is why I try to redirect the energy to reform. Oh I’m not sure if “reform” is an OK word.

Continue reading

Denial by the local Disability Rights Center

2017 Preface: The actions by the DRC was yet another lesson I learned about authority, the boundaries and the ability that anyone in Concord (as the DRC is a special interest group) can also talk to their fellow people like children. As I gotten beaten up in 2015, I learned the hard way that authorities are as hard as our state’s bedrock, where the state and local government is also part of the “Granite” State…hehehe!

The DRC gets tons of requests blah, blah, blah is a load of crap. Yeah tell me that when I call them and was rushed like it was my fault for not understanding.

The next consecutive denial in the Merrimack NH Police Department debacle was the legal assistance organization in Concord called the Disability Rights Center. The organization is a delusional special interest group that thinks New Hampshire is still progressive in special needs services, and yet there was no such thing is discrimination and racially biased police departments.

Continue reading

Why I do not Like Managed Care

I’m all for capitalism.

I’m all for reducing excessive costs.

I’m all for helping the needy, especially people like me who can’t take care of himself every hour and minute of the day. (That’s not a lie, and if I am cutting myself short – then so be it!)

The problem today is the biggest fear I have that will lead in to year 2020 , the year of the Hopeless Autistic. It’s Managed Care.

Managed care on the abstract, is supposed to improve quality of life for people who have Medicaid plans. Some people who are on Medicaid don’t have a Primary Care Provider or their “doctor”. Also some may be over or even under appropriating their Medicaid funds for their healthcare.

The problem is what was once a state controlled setup is now being outsourced to for-profit companies that have to deliver “shareholder value” in a quarter to quarter basis. Whether or not its based in my state is illrelevent. I’m all for provider diversity, if the company is based in the south, I could care less. I can’t name anyone in the Medicaid system in Concord form a lineup, and as previously mentioned, the power players in Concord do not know the brutal realities in their own state, so that ridiculous argument from the far left moonbats have that DEBUNKED!

The problem is what Medicaid used to be infinite, is now narrow-focused (back to a “cookie cutter” system) and what if your doctor is in one plan or company and another doctor in another?  And imagine the other part of Medicaid that is used for day services for every type of disability? A plan for Asperger’s and a plan for the low IQ, but if you’re in the middle you’re screwed?

I’ve spoken to many professionals in regards to me and they have nothing nice to say about any of the manged care providers. One woman said the New Hampshire Healthy Families was like dealing with a stubborn 3 year old child! That is my managed care provider!

And this is what many autistics are up against when the GOP basically forces the “Tax and Spend Democrats” agenda (without any facts to back it up and use improper English like how I wrote the quoted phrase) and forcing people to “Vote the Gang of Seven [because we will stick to 1950s agenda because ‘it worked’]”

I’m not going to let the Democrats off the hook. Their propaganda is just as bad, blaming the other party and exploiting the special interests for their own “capital.”

The illegal aliens in this state? I don’t think taking them off the rolls will save the state money because I don’t believe there are that many. It’s not to say they should be getting it the first place, I think it’s one of those GOP, templates that is more relevant in other states, but not as relevant as NH. I blame such template agendas on the Clear Channels of the world owning Rush Limbaugh and 700 tiny radio stations that carry cheap programing with cheap agendas and cheap people believing in the cheap agendas on a radio station you can get a better audience of getting a local talent shouting out of the window!

NH’s Generational and Cultural Gap (towards Hopeless Autistics)

I’m somewhat active in the special needs movement (I find the subject more of an overstatement to be honest) in this state. In the last few years as I’ve been more exposed to the insiders and power players, I’ve found out many of these people are aging Baby Boomers who had kids ether in the state’s institution for the developmentally disabled or didn’t and help fight to close it. That institution was the Laconia State School that opened in the turn of the 20th Century and closed in 1991. (for now on, I will refrain from using “LSS” or “Laconia State School” such place in my opinion has escalated to a cliche – especially to the younger generation.)

Which leads to me where I feel there is a disconnect to the special interests groups who have “fought” the system (i.e. being very aggressive  – more aggressive than I can ever be) and won by having the place close down. Meaning a new evil would loom within a couple of years.

Continue reading