“The Ode to Melanie”…read: A Post Dedicated to Melanie

The quoted part of the title was what my mother told my therapist on New Years Eve of 2019, in the midst of a stressful Christmas, following the botched and bland trip to North Carolina the month before. My family, on the paternal side was writing me off by the day when we went south. The part Japanese family was far from “the rising sun”, they were gothic as you can get, dark, on the edge of your seat, and honest only about my quirks and not open clearly about my paternal grandmother’s health, which I thought at the time was grave.

What I didn’t know was when Melanie was actually turning her back against me too simultaneously. But this happened after I took a few days to craft this Facebook Note (which still existed at the time), of which triggered my mother as if I cheated her or something like that. Melanie saw the writing on the wall, and a week or two after, she ghosted me, and then completely severed ties on infamous Friday Afternoon dump that she was going to divorce me, dated on Saint Valentine’s Day…

Before that started to get worse, I wrote this on my Facebook:

For more than half of this decade, there’s been a girl in my life. She may not be your typical female though in this evening’s post, I am dedicating that to Melanie, the kinda semi known other half, that really is hard to tell given her virtual nature. She’s pretty much far from that with her personality. Visiting with Mel is like going on an exoitic trip once a while. She’s the figure that has pretty much kept me stable, when everything around me has not. For all intensive purposes, she’s the only female that has truly loved me outside of any muma bears.

There’s a reason why. Melanie is rare. There are many Melanies that exist, but much rare. In fact, any American female born after 1980 is kinda inferior. Melanie was born 3 years later, but pretty superior, only because of some nice middle class family, and a modest affluence of being the sixth great granddaughter of the settlers of the Connectclick capital (get the “Clickford” connection now?)

With Beauty Comes with Grace

Melanie’s middle name is Grace. Whether or not that lead Melanie into a peaceful life is unknown, as Melanie denies that fact. Melanie is a very soft spoken, bubbly and never shows a frown too often. Melanie views in order to be a “woman” with a hard constant in the pronoun, she must have strength, and if you are a youthful female with strength of an older female, you get the right to be called a “girl” with a high honorable tone. Anyone can reproduce, as melanie [sic] describes women, the thing that represents a woman and females is strength. Anyone else can be a lightweight.

What keeps Melanie happy is retaining youthfulness while gaining insights and emotional maturity. Melanie always keeps herself busy and is self motivated. She is functional, but flexible, but in order to have a “Healthy & Happy Lifestyles”, stability must be paramount.

The Most Beautiful Thing is Being Stable

Melanie rarely has dyed her hair outside of her natural dark brown hair, except for red streak, and she goes darker in the summer, when others go lighter. Melanie is very fashionable, but likes to keep a core look consistent. She feels that “stability brings eternal happiness”. She never looked at stability till she was around 30 when we got together.

Being Hot? Staying Sexy is Being Calm Cool and Collective

Melanie is 5’1” (factoring her fluff hair), a dress size between 2 to 4 but often is a 3 because she loves her Hollister outfits, and her cash’ aura. She wears a range of xtra small to extra large when she wants to look bigger. Also when she’s out skating. She’s teeny and tiny like a college girl, but is really mature on the outside.

Melanie is really a youthful 35 year old on the outside, but just as mature on the inside. For her style, she’s still stuck at 21, however Forever 21 is not her store of choice anymore. This style is compensated by her highly flirty style that is easy to characterize her. Not that she’s hitting on others, but she’s highly visual when she communicates. She’ll stylize any high-fives and be cutey and playful. She has this signature laughter that I cannot replicate. Full of one liners in her chatters. Artistically, Melanie is not good, but fashion wise, she scores well past 100 on the IQ scale. And she is highly aware on other things.

“Brunettes keep the world from revolving too fast.” – Melanie

Besides her 21 year old animated self, Melanie’s attraction could be just how she just remains organized, keeps her crap together, and is coherent when she speaks. Melanie rarely utters “I don’t know”, “I think, but I am not sure” and she talks in “pulses”. She’ll talk you ear off for a minute, pause for 30 seconds, talk some more, pause, hear a pin drop, and giggle something.

In her former day job, where a customer may have a switching problem, a customer would utter an error code from the switchboard. Melanie would say “Error 700? Cool!” runs to her Civic, gets her designer belt acting as a tool belt, run to the wiring closet, punch down a loose wire, test it with the “buttset” and call it a day for that site. Melanie depends on information has her source of desire. You tell her what you need, she’ll come running. Problem is restored, and onto her next customer.

In our self employed IS services, Melanie drew on a whiteboard all the things that keeps computer and phone networks stable and using the stable logic, was what we came up with Keeping Your Networks Healthy & Happy. Mel loves to hear real life happy stories that had an outcome.

Techie Chickie

Withholding this without merit would be a mistake about Melanie’s high awareness of tech. She’s not a technical person, she rarely writes code that could wipe out a computer. Melanie was born the year of the Mac, and her first Macintosh was an SE in the mid 90s, since her older sister Brianna needed a color Mac for her design work. Melanie would get that IIci later on but would then get an iMac later. Melanie was truly an Apple fangirl and like every other old timer, she now complains about Apple’s limitations, especially on the Mac.

But Melanie also developed other tech loves like Novell before they got taken down by Microsoft and played with mini computers like the VAX. Melanie never liked Microsoft, and it returns back to how she appreciated having a Mac at home, and forced Melanie to be so calm when everyone else was panicking about bad things. In one school, the district transitioned to Novell to Windows NT, and with any district going on an entirely new operating system (NT 4 wasn’t even in market yet), it was considered to be risky. The district never did a seamless transition, and Melanie’s knowledge of when things went wrong at a young age forced her help her classmates figure out what the hell was going wrong with their “workstations that’s an ugly rat’s box”. When a user got booted out because the Domain Controller failed, Melanie had to be: “Think calm thoughts, you lost your work, something crappy just happened, repeat after me… wait till it restarts and I’ll get back to you”.

Melanie’s real hate of Microsoft was how “shitty Microsoft implemented the ‘computer on every desk’ and the executions were so lousy”. Melanie still whines about Microsoft, even a couple years ago, when they pushed the “workstation that doesn’t seem to be SUNny enough” to Windows 10, the girl just bitched for all the rightful reasons.

Melanie is into telephony too is because she’s last person that would want to handle them. Before I got even thrifty, Melanie had taken apart nearly 20 different 500 rotary phones and put them back together to see how they worked. Melanie would actually sell nearly 15 out of the 20 that was able to be put back together. This was before Google, and Melanie was basing her knowledge on figuring out what didn’t work. Melanie never brags about this, but it’s very evident that she has such skills as critical thinking that enables her to have beauty with grace.

Taking Negative Energy into Productive Life

Melanie possess a number of piercings, from her belly, to her ears, and 2 tattoos on her lower back and her lower torso region. All of these body mods were painful, but the ones who had been with her chair side, never noticed Melanie ever flinch, freak out or what have you. They never saw any girlfriend ever do this. They think this is one of Melanie’s strengths of just handling pain and turning into some energy. Never in my life have I ever knew when Melanie was on her monthly cycle, she never complains about any cramps.

Melanie has reportedly “freaked out” in highly stressful situations but when verified with others, they were unable to confirm, leading that Melanie just holds everything in, and perhaps freaks out after the fact. If she’s driving with a group of girls and hydroplanes, the other girls may freak out, but Melanie stays cool as she has full control in the driver’s seat. Many of her friends still can’t figure this out. This maybe a secret to Melanie’s success in life, to conceal all of her pain at all costs. In this sense, the girl is a pure genius!

Communication Style

Melanie implies a simple, but witty, short, though not too short of conversations, with an affirmative tone, with confidence, but not sounding like a bitch. Melanie can for sure get pissed, be sassy, be snippy, but most of the time she talks in one liners when it’s something implicit. If she’s writing it, she’ll be like “*giggles*” when she’s laughing “*smiles*” when she’s happy, and rarely uses emojis. She thinks methodically when it’s serious, but never thinks when she’s the most witty. A lot of times the wit is on the whim, and often just uses less than a few words. Up to 5, but no less than 2. 1 will make everyone laugh their ass off, if it’s really funny.

Effective means being simple, but not dumbed down. Melanie never instructs, she’s the navigator. She’ll talk “wanna go to the movies? Great! 8 PM! [then gives the litteral] *thumbs up*”Her communication is very visual and highly implicit when others may just talk way too much and often dumb the other person down. Melanie has yet to give a wishy-washy answer. She’s honest, though not blunt, though at times she’ll be if she’s confronted.

1 In a Million

Melanie is considered to be a Modern FemaleTM, or the anti Cosmo tagline of the Fun Fearless Female. Melanie is an attractive, impressive, and intelligent female with high strength in being self directed, self motivated, and caring to others often at the same time. Most females today cannot possess all these strengths anymore as social norms have declined, and parents ether over-protecting or under monitoring. Dada always loved Melanie and Melanie has returned the favor. Sadly as Melanie is the rarity, she will get even more rare. Melanies exist today, but they are taken immediately off the market, pushing the values of Melanies to go down, not up as well.

Other ladies in my life maybe my Yin, but Melanie is also my Yang; as she has kept me pretty stable when everything around has not been. Most often Melanie is often never considered to be serious, but I feel she should be taken more seriously.

Melanie has been my happiness, others may dispute, but I am me, and I like when I am happy. This girl never makes anyone sad. And that’s why I appreciate her in my life

“Be strong. Be healthy. Be happy.” – Melbelle

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