Derry Medical Center… the DMV of PCPs?

I have been with Derry Medical Center (or whatever it’s called now DMC in Southern New Hampshire) for a number of years. I’ve noticed subtle to major changes over the time I had seen my primary care provider. Since the mid 2010s… going to DMC is like going to a hacked up DMV…

  •  I am waiting more in the waiting room, and waiting more in the exam room than the time I spend with my provider, and even that gawd-forbid I go over my time!
  • It’s not really happy, it seems depressing, and almost as if I don’t belong there
  • The nurses in my doctor’s team have been erratic, one was so bitchy, I had the audacity to call her a “cunt” in a Facebook post tagged to their fan-page circa 2019 (resulting me being blocked entirely from their page.) She was really bitchy and there was no excuse for it. I don’t care My doctor is aware of the “zoo” behavior I am online and he doesn’t support it. I don’t give a damn if she lost her job. She really turned me away, I will defend my stance that she was a CUNT that day.

So I got a call yesterday from a faceless nurse asking me to call their office with no additional information. The female came off bitchy (err “professional”) and was really quick to hear that loud click on that damned 7911 IP set (read below.)

Calling DMC is a pain in the ass, to speak bluntly. They have been the earliest adopters to Cisco’s CallManager system in the area as far back as the early 2000s. To this day they are still a Cisco shop, but the administrators of their phone system seem to have IT knowledge, i.e. not understanding “the end user”.  One fact was I did see a Media Convergence Server in a random room next to the exam room rows one time.

Calling DMC is a joke. They’re known to “please be aware our options have changed”, like it always changes. The lady voice is not talking with a smile like the Voice of Voicemail; DMC has to be dry, and morbid. It’s almost as if I shouldn’t be calling them in the first place.

Their first tree of menus takes a minute to hear, and I forgot the first few because the IT guy thinks it’s OK to use every number on the keypad to make an “option” not to mention there is another 9 options in each sub menu. Who in the hell came up with this, because they must not care for patients being on the phone for more than 3 minutes to go through an auto attendant (not to be confused like an IVR.)

So I hit zero, when in doubt, right?

Allegedly DMC has a some “call center” from what I hear about, but I don’t think it’s the contact-center that many like me would assume. Anyways, I think it’s really just a phone bank, and this is where I likely landed after hitting zero. Regardless, the phone call was crap, I couldn’t really hear word for word. The background was noisy (and yet isn’t Cisco have noise canceling abilities?) then I heard the mic rubbing on the lady’s clothes, or skin or both, wherever the hell it was.

I couldn’t wait to hang up for a fucking physical that I am “overdue” because I couldn’t do it last year thanks to fucking COVID.

In short…

  • Bitchy nurse calls  and leaves a vmail
  • … horrific auto-attendants that leaves you into a vmail jail…
  • you dial zero and you get a live person in one of the worst call qualities
  • and IT gets their way forcing people to just use the Patient Portal which works perfectly fine. In fact you can leave 1,000 character replies to bitch to your PCP or others when you get pissed off with them.

It’s not a perception that Derry Medical Center is like going to the local Division of Motor Vehicles, it’s worse! And they don’t really give a damn about their paitents! I just want to go alone at this point!

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