It seems like “Change” is in vogue lately. New programs, new ideas, but mixed with backwards or delusional agendas factoring in new leadership (should “leadership” in air quotes) among so many things just criss-crossing the Granite State.

However I am seeing a trainwreck about to happen and yet I haven’t seen any leadership to attempt to derail the trainwreck or suppress the fire. Sadly higher ups are not heeding the warnings, they are implementing a broken system and that broken system is about to get worse!

When this site went live last October, I thought in 2020 the changes would go backwards, I thought there would be a 4 year holiday of peace before the hell would break loose. Now my fears are actually coming to life and I’ve tried to do everything in my own power to distract myself (mental health counseling, breaking into day programs, etc) and my area agency and day program are trying everything in their power. So the subtitle of this site is now 2016: The Year of the Hopeless Autistic. 

Am I singling someone out in this process? Yup, and that’s on the state level. I have enough doubt that the Bureau of Developmental Services and Department of Health and Human Services are not doing what they should be doing. The man I used to know as Commissioner spent his full 2 terms and 8 years trying to improve DHHS is no longer the head (thanks to term limits for commishs) and now the new management in town is already coming in with wrecking ball. Hey the destruction may happen faster than when Cox came to Fox 25 and gutted the place! The problem is so many people in the Medicaid system would be impacted. From the insurance side to the day program (Waiver programs) and Community Health Services.

I’ve yet to see any specific individual call out the management. What’s also sad is the people who don’t have the smarts and not being able to speak up in how they see things. It’s all what Concord believes and whatever Concord believes will work statewide. And these people are smart enough to understand that clients will see a change for the worse – even if they can’t vocalize it.

Please understand this. I am putting my full identity to the world. I wouldn’t be blogging on time I don’t really have unless I had enough doubt to believe something isn’t adding up properly. My social network is old fashioned, and I am privileged to a lot of information that most typical individuals wouldn’t be allowed to know. I won’t give out my sources or what they tell me specifically since this blog is supposed to be in my words to begin with. I also do not intend to speak for others. I cannot speak for someone else because I am not in them, but I can shine a light when possible.

I’ll end it with this. I am working the telephones, working the Outlook/Mail app, reaching out to as many people as I can and trying to do the right thing for my day to day life. I have supports, I am not fully on my own. The problem is there is larger distractions that impact the area I live in, and my worst fear is that my inner supports outside of my family will suddenly go black because of whatever is distracting them to prevent them to work day to day with the clients of the community they serve. If that gets taken away, well the kiss the idea of success goodbye!

In short, it will be a do-or-die year at least for me.