Autism in Love: Review, part two

This Post is All About Lenny and dedicated to him. His struggles deserves its own post. Warning, this may be a tear dripper.

The only single guy featured in this film was on the left coast. Lenny was introduced and closed out the film.  Throughout the documentary, what was very striking was how he appears to be overcompensating and trying so hard to be normal.

The first abnormal sign was he wanted to dress up on camera to decide otherwise. (Was he in a work or school program that demanded him to look fancy?) To be honest, I’d rather see him more of Lenny than someone of who he should be. Second he was very determined  for being the dominant person, that no female should be stronger or better than him. (Well if he had old fashioned people as his “supports”. Third was how should be in college, making a lot of money so he could take care of his lady. He even is in tuned to the trashy Caucasian ladies by stating to the cameraman at one point that African American ladies are “more independent” and was explaining “interracial relationships”. (You can add every non American woman into the mix as I’ve already discussed before.)

For people new to this site, this documentary aired on PBS in early January, following a 3 plus year project. You can see it here till April or go to iTunes, Google Play, etc and search for “Autism in Love”

The single mother, Kathy (whose kinda cute – except she is pretty well inked up) has some insight.
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“I knew there was something special with Lenny right away. He would move his hands like he would like get excited and he was very maticialous with stuff when he was little like where things needed to be. When he didn’t talk, I knew something was going on. It’s been hard. You got this kid that doesn’t want to be autistic and Lenny is smart enough he doesn’t want to be different. And that’s a big struggle.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

a screengrab of an exchange of Lenny and his mother Kathy
This exchange was in the middle of Lenny playing a console game as he argues with his mother about not being a “broke a– man”.
“I don’t want to be a broke man”, Lenny. “You don’t have to be paying for everything; you could be paying for stuff; but when you go into a relationship with somebody you’re supposed to be her partner. PARTNER. I think you’re being misinformed by not just very great people. I think you’re being misinformed.” – Kathy (and what’s with that note to the window?)

 

 

 

 

 

Later in that exchange, she stated “It’s hard, that transition from freckin’ – into manhood. That’s hard.” I love her crass support “Let’s get past this, lets get over this and lets get with it because you’re freckin’ awesome.”

a screengrab of Lenny breaking down ordering the cameraman to not appear to be crying with him.
Lenny would break down ordering the cameraman to not tear up; as he said earlier in the film that he’d wished he’d not be autistic and be autistic with a million dollars. He asks in this part “what would the viewers would think of this?” Well I can’t blame him as he breaks down after that question.

 

A chyron ran during the film stating he was sent to a mental health clinic for about a week in spring of 2013 because he had thoughts of harming himself. Following the quotes in the last screengrab, they cut away to  Kathy again and told on camera as she tears up this:

“He once told me that ‘you ever walk into a room and you know everyone is talking about you?’ That’s how he feels when he walks out of the house. You know so? I just want my son to be happy. I think he needs to come to terms to who he is. Because he’s not comfortable of who he is. And if he’s not comfortable of who he is I don’t know how anyone else can be comfortable of who he is.”

In Lenny’s case, it’s less to do with love but how I suspect there is “more to the story”. And how the hopeless autistic may be a plausible theory.

Throughout the Lenny cuts, I yelled out to my iPad and said “Who messed this guy up? Someone did something to him!You cannot discount his emotions, and his strong insecurities of living in a pretty affluent metropolis and a population who can’t accept him. For Lenny’s case I’d suspect he’s even a more hopeless autistic than being a hopeless romantic.

Despite the ending, he finally got a job at a local grocery store, but he had to cut the interview short because his break time was ending. (Can someone else relate to this?)

It’s surprising how he cannot find someone despite living second largest metropolis and yet there are so many millenials (i.e. girls) that out of the 15 million people who live over that way and yet there isn’t one out of half of that population that would be willing to love him, accept him and be pretty forgiving? Hey, he has better odds than say where I live north of Boston.

–  – –

Writing the review about Lenny was tough, and finding the right words and finding takeaway quotes documentary was a little hurtful, i.e. I feel for him.

The film didn’t get into details if he was out of district, went out of mainstream schooling, I would highly suspect something like that occurred and I question the “supports” he had (notice the air quotes.) There’s is something, a someplace, and a somewhere that I’d alleged did something to him and his self confidence. Yes someone with autism that claims to be hopeless, or not wanting to be autistic is a huge deal, but there isn’t anything “special” to accept himself?

I’m sorry for him and his mother, and their friends family. Your heart gets thrown to the floor when watching this. If the film makers have interest, they should a documentary just on him, because he has so many emotional and psychological baggage that we don’t even know in just the hour-fifteen film, that could confirm that he may not be the only hopeless autistic as I would describe him.

The problem is: it doesn’t have to be. Adults are suffering with autism and that number is rising just like the cases of autism in children. Why are people just choosing to ignore a silent fact? Why are childhood doctors focus on just the school age and run away when they become adults?

What I mean is he was filmed nearly 3 years ago in 2013. I published (through anonymity) a couple autism related blogs around that time, almost feeling the way he (and Lindsey) were feeling. Sadly, Lenny has or had an angry mentality – which I can’t blame him; there is a massive level of insecurities, bullying, and misinformation to him and probably to other families and peers.

I’d highly suspect whoever was supporting him made him the animal-like figure that I regretfully describe.

If anything, if love really exists, my group needs love too. Maybe not romantically, but if there is love to my group, then maybe my group can love back.

With that said, hoping romantics or hopeful romantics a great Valentine’s Day.

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