Because the Autism Spectrum Disorder is so based on “image” and stereotype, part of me personally is to walk a fine line and make sure I am not too high functioning to have the bar so high I won’t ever hit it (then deal with that baggage) and be too low functioning where I’m basically tied to a GPS all life long.
Some of these concerns have been kept very secretly, not any individual I know probably knows every detail (they may know about my insecurities though) but I have to keep myself in such a middle ground because gawd forbid I am too High Functioning, I may loose those needed services. The only reason why I may come off as HFA is because I followed all the normal Lancers because they seemed to be someone to be a role model.
That was my biggest mistake. Following “normal” minded people.
By no means, am I making excuses for myself, or trying to keep myself down, or deliberately causing a low self esteem. It’s just the facts. I could barely handle a 2 hour adult class on a stupid subject called Digital SLR photography a couple years ago because of all the fractions and three letter acronyms that the teacher just couldn’t slow down and give me a 3 paragraph explanation. An average human being can give you that in 45 seconds or less. But that was too much.
So what can I do?
Just be honest I suppose.